If there's one thing launching into the absolute unknown will teach you, is that the thought "What on earth am I doing?" can move really quickly and repeatedly through your head. All day long, too. And at 1:15 in the morning.
It's the fourth week of uni now, and I'm loving it. I haven't had a single moment of thinking "I've made a terrible mistake": if anything, every minute I spend there, or online in the elearning portal, or even on public transport surrounded by people about half my age is that this is where I am meant to be. I'm feeling my intellect rise stiffly from the mud, and begin stretching, to work out the kinks and cramps from sleeping so long. Even walking through the ground of the university is inspirational to me, with the architecture making me laugh:
or sigh in admiration:
or wince at the love of concrete so rampant in the '80's.
So I know I haven't made a mistake in my decision to return to uni, and even a month in I can see the choice in degree and subjects are leading to a choice of career that excites me - I'm thrilled just looking at what the next four years of studying will involve!
That being said, I've been chewing over this post by Michelle - about SWOTting. Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. I've got the Weaknesses listed right off the bat:
- Self-doubt. (Yes, twice - it's my biggest weakness)
- Inability/insane difficulty in asking for help
- University degree that fascinates me
- Emerging areas for writing
Upcoming job interviewNew Research Assistant job
- Letting my brain run wild in all areas of my life
- My sleep deprivation
- Not saying 'no'
- Time management fubars
- Money worries
- Passionate parent
- Great researcher
- Speed reader
- Cool in emergency/high pressure situations
- Does black/sarcastic humour count?
- I can't think of a career I'd be interested in (besides "published author"!) within the "writing degree" field. Yes, that includes journalism, copy-writing, editor etc.
- The brain fascinates me, and has for years. Doing my degree will give me a career that has so many different options and pathways I get giddy - and grin - just thinking about it.
- The careers through my degree are much more financially rewarding and secure than any writing related.
- Shhhh - it's a secret little fourth one - I'm not really sure I'm good enough to write for a living. Or the work that I'd end up doing (which would already be "settling" - see point 1) would take my attention away from the books and stories I want to write.
- I'm far more excited about simply what's involved in doing my degree than the thought of the writing degrees, and that says a whole lot as well.
And hopefully be able to fill out a couple more of those "Strength" spots. Though looking at it right now, it sure suits the degree I've chosen!